A Tune for a Tuesday - See you in the Eucharist

The Beginning of the End . . .

Today, I said goodbye to my kids at the EDGE. And in keeping with my norm, I cried at both sessions when I gave my final words. I haven't really quite realized that I will not see them next week . . . likely, I will not see most of them again in our earthly life. I've always loved meeting new people, but I've always hated goodbyes . . .

After our party, the EDGE Core worked hard to clean up and put all of our props from the year back in storage. As the Core headed out the door, I walked back to our meeting room. It looked as though no one had even been there. As I turned to hit the lights, I stopped and looked around, taking that moment to reflect on my time here.

These past few months have been a whirlwind. I have been so busy and so stressed, that it has been hard to even notice the time passing. I knew then that I'd get to this point and be disappointed that I hadn't spent more time enjoying the moment. And there I stood tonight, thinking just that. That I couldn't believe it was already over. I wish I could have spent another year ministering to those kids, leading them to Christ and making more improvements for their program . . . but that's not what God has called me to . . . thy will be done, Lord.

As I move on to the next chapter in my life, I thank God for bringing me here. I would never take back the two years I've spent here. These kids will always hold a special place in my heart, and this parish family will always be a home to me.

Thank you to all those who have been a part of making my time in California a wonderful experience. For welcoming me in and making me a part of this community. I will miss you all dearly. I will undoubtedly be back to visit soon, but until then, "I will see you in the Eucharist".

I will meet you at the table
I will meet you in His heart
In the company of angels
In the place where all things start
We receive each other's presence
We are all made one in Him
Though I cannot see your face
I will see you in the Eucharist

Come and meet me at the table
Come and meet me in His heart
We'll be singing with the angels
Each man playing his own part
In the symphony of praises
We will join our song with His
Though I cannot hear your voice
We'll be speaking in the Eucharist

Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid

When we gather at the table
We are closer than our breath
Even nearer than the angels
When we touch His very flesh
Dwelling in each other's presence
I will hold you close inside
Every soul in heaven and earth
Now is present in the Body of Christ

Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid

We are pilgrims on a journey
We are headed for the throne
Carried on the wings of angels
Oh we do not walk alone
All our prayers we lay before Him
And His grace will pave the way
To lead us to our one true home
Where we'll see each other face to face

And do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid

I will meet you
I will hear you
I will hold you
I will receive you
I will see you in the Eucharist

Danielle Rose - See You in the Eucharist

Emotions

So much is going on in my life right now. Would you like to know how I feel about it?

STRESSED! - I move in just a little over a month. And as of right now, I do not have a job or a place to live when I get there. Just when I thought things were going to work out, my fiance was let go at work and is now searching for a job too. UGH! Wrapping up a job, packing up an apartment, moving accross the country, finding a new job, finding a new place to live, planning a wedding, preparing for marriage. . . . that is just TOO much to deal with at once!

Frustrated - With our situation. Wondering why God is giving us all these obstacles. Isn't there enough stress and things to deal with if the transition went as smoothly as possible? I'll admit it, I'm frustrated with God. I know He has a plan, but I'm not too happy with Him for not letting us know what it is yet!


In Love - Yes, I'm in love! lol. Despite all of this confusion and frustration, I'm trying to remember the end of the tunnel: being in the same state as my fiance! It's going to be so great to see him on a regular basis again. To see him more than on skype and to have real dates, not just our wednesday night online dates! Yes, that's right, we spend our "date nights" playing games online against each other . . . it's all we have, don't judge us!

Excited! - Excited to be with my fiance. Excited for something new. Excited to see my dear friends again. Excited for dates. Excited too see my family. Excited to get moving on wedding plans. Excited to see my neices and nephew. Excited for seasons (yes, even winter . . . it has its charm). Excited to possibly serve my Alma Mater. Excited to be closer to marriage. Excited to have a new place to live. Excited to have a washer and dryer! Hopefully excited for a dishwasher. :)

Sad - Sad to leave California. Sad that I haven't nearly seen everything I wanted to. Sad to leave the ocean. Sad to leave the warm weather (yes, I'm completely torn between the two climates). Sad to see this chapter close. Sad to leave my adorable apartment. Sad to leave my job. Sad that I haven't done everything I planned to do with the ministries. Sad to cut this adventure short. Sad to leave new friends. Sad to leave the mountains. Sad to go back to humidity (it seriously sucks!). Sad that there is so little time left. Sad that I will likely never live here again. Sad to say goodbye.

Nervous - About the unknown. I know that God's got it all under control, but I'm so very anxious about how it's all going to work out. If I don't have a job, I don't have money to pay the bills . . . and that's not good! I just don't know what's going to happen, and that makes me nervous.

Sick - With all this emotion, I'm sick. Both emotionally and physically. Sick to my stomach. I have headaches frequently. Can't fall asleep. Wake up in the middle of the night. I can hardly focus on the things that need to get done, which makes me even more stressed. I'm ready for this time to be over, but there's so much that I need to do before it is!

Completely Mixed Up - SO MANY EMOTIONS! I can't seem to get them straight. Excited, nervous, happy, sad, sick, frustrated, stressed . . . I just can't handle it all at once. Ugh, I'll be happy when all this is over. But when it's all over, that means I'll be gone . . . and that makes me sad. Oh dear . . .