Blinding Light

Have you ever looked at a bright light? At first, it may have been painful, but if you kept looking at it, your eyes adjusted and everything else seemed to disappear in the darkness? Ever think this experience would be a life lesson?

I've been having a difficult time lately focusing on God. It all started with not giving enough time to God in prayer. And when our relationship began to struggle, it became more difficult for me to live the life He asks me to live. It was harder to not be anxious about the future, harder to love in difficult situations, harder to keep my mind pure, and ultimately harder to stay away from the temptations of life. I was so frustrated with myself. I just kept falling short of what I was called to be. In the midst of this disappointment, I attended Catholic Underground (an amazing ministry in LA that starts with a holy hour and continues with some kind of artist "underground" in the basement of the Church).

During adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, the Church is dimmed and a spotlight is directed at the monstrance. At the particular location I (or rather God) had picked, the light hit perfectly on the metal to shine right into my eyes. At first, the blinding light hurt my eyes and I tried to avoid it, but then I realized that God was telling me something through this experience.

Instead of avoiding the light, I stared right into it. After moments of squinting and bearing the pain, my eyes adjusted to the light. It became easy to stare right at the monstrance. And the more I focused on Christ, the less I could see anything else. Everything outside of the path of light faded until it disappeared and I could only see the light. It was truly a "blinding light". And that's when it all made sense!

So many times in life, we get so distracted by everything and start stumbling along our path so much that we forget how to keep moving forward after we keep falling. Jesus was showing me that if I would only focus on Him, everything else wouldn't be so difficult. That the more I focused on Him, the more I would adjust and get used to focusing on Him. That if I'd only keep my eyes on Him, soon I wouldn't even be able to see the temptations that were in the darkness anymore. Just like focusing on the light made all that was out of it's path disappear, so would focusing on Christ make everything not in the path to Christ fade and disappear. He was showing me that it wouldn't be so difficult, I just needed to put my spiritual blinders on and focus on Christ!

As I began to re-center on Christ in my life, it wasn't long before everything that was distracting me in the shadows faded away into the darkness and disappeared.