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A Tune for a Tuesday

"Alive Again"
Matt Maher

I woke up in darkness
Surrounded by silence
Oh where, oh where have I gone?
I woke to reality Losing its grip on me

Oh where, where have I gone?
'Cause I can see the light
Before I see the sunrise
You called and You shouted

Broke through my deafness
Now I'm breathing in and breathing out
I'm alive again
You shattered my darkness

Washed away my blindness
Now I'm breathing in and breathing out
I'm alive again
Late have I loved You
You waited for me, I searched for You

What took me so long?
I was looking outside
As if Love would ever want to hide
I'm finding I was wrong

'Cause I feel the wind
Before it hits my skin
'Cause I want You,
Yes I want You I need You, and I'll do

Whatever I have to just to get through
'Cause I love You,
Yeah I love You

This song is perfectly placed this Tuesday. I just got of off a retreat that I lead this weekend, and though I lead it, it was just as much a retreat for me as it was for those in attendance. I've been living a busy life full of 5 different ministries, a long distance relationship, sister visits, and preparing for the holidays (not to mention the overbearing stress of wedding planning soon to come). In the midst of it all, it became easy for me to put my prayer life on the back burner, and consequently, lose touch with my Lord. I saw it happening and just couldn't figure out how to break out of the cycle.

Thankfully, My Lord "shattered my darkness" and helped me to break through and find him again. I'm determined to stay alive! I've begun my Daily Mass Challenge, determined to make Christ the beginning, middle, and end of each day. The Eucharist is the greatest gift, one that I refuse to leave unopened each day.

Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness even when I am not. Thank you for waiting for me, finding me, and slapping me in the face when I need it. Thank you for a beautiful weekend, a beautiful retreat, and for all of the ways you worked through each person on the retreat. Thank you for the gift of the Eucharist! May I never leave the gift unopened again! :) I love you, Lord!

Reminiscing on days past . . .

Today, I took a trip down memory lane . . . I walked past good times, bad times, the best times, and the worst times.













My first stop was remembering the summer I spent on summer staff at Life Teen camps. I remembered flying into Atlanta and meeting everyone for the first time, waiting for Andrew (our latest arrival) and freaking him out as we bombarded him asking if he was Andrew. I remember David playing a joke on me before I even knew his name. The drive to Tiger was beautiful, and I'll never forget my first view of Covecrest. We were all so excited as we entered the staff cabin and claimed our beds.

I thought of the first week of summer staff training and retreat. I remembered the letter I wrote to me from God. I remember sitting in the garden at Mike's Place allowing God to heal my heart as He helped me to forgive. I remember Doro yelling to turn off alarm clocks, Anna's alarm (It's a Great Day to be Alive), and the packed shower house each day. I remember sleeping until the last minute before walked the peaceful path to the lodge to sing the "Wake Up Song" each morning. I remember praying in the Chapel. I will never forget the first time we walked to the waterfall. It was, and remains, one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.

I remember becoming great friends with some of the most beautiful people I have met, learning from them, and growing with them. I remember girl bonding time in the staff cabin. I remember Sarah's strength, Jennifer's caring heart, Kimberly's determination and ability to get the job done. I remember breaking open Andrew's shy shell and making him dance. I remember Rosko's support and talking with her about life and love, Francis' crazy humor, and Lisa's beautiful pictures. I remember star gazing with Caleb and the girls, the beauty of Sara and Paul's relationship and the hope it brought to me, and Adam's passion for the ministry. I remember Jason's inspiring words, Tina's spunky-ness, and getting to know Anna more than I had at BC. I remember Dot and Nick's maturity. I remember the prayer Holly gave me and David's love for each person he encountered. I remember our Austrians, Ben, Ramund,and Sam, and learning their German phrases. I remember Julie's patience and Katie's joy. I remember doing low ropes with Karyn (and failing to stay straight enough to make it to the end) and her positive attitude. I remember Liz's ability to focus on the task at hand and Doro's carefree excitement. I remember Molly's silliness and Tara's gorgeous smile. I remember Ty being able to make friends with everyone, Bradley being great with the less interested or difficult kids, and Ryan's deep thinking. I remember an amazing summer staff full of wonderful people.

I remember the first day with campers, our crazy pirate rule skit, Ty singing about bears, and talking with David and the campers that came to the "I don't really want to be here" groups. I remembered long days, ropes courses, water games, and snaps. I thought about our staff meetings each night (that just simply couldn't stay focused . . . and progressively got worse), meeting with the Tepeyac staff each evening, Bradley and Francis' crazy tangents of . . . craziness! I remember going "all in", lives being changed, and friends being made. I remember white water rafting with Ryan and popping out of the raft to get an amazing bruise. I remember praying night prayer with Nick and Dot. I remember the mud pit and Andrew and I sacrificing for the kids and jumping in together.

I remember the Tepeyac crew's last night in Georgia, doing laundry with Andrew, talking with Nick and Dot outside the cabins when Nick gave me a passage that would speak to me, watching Ty and Bradley dance to "Carry on my Wayward Son". I remember our last day at Covecrest, Mass, "You'll Never Let Go", group pictures, crying so ridiculously hard, driving away.

I remember the person I was when I arrived not being the person I was when I left. I remember my relationship with God, how he comforted me and took great care of my heart as he nursed it back to health and pieced it back together. I remember letting go. I remember being able to move forward with great excitement for what God's plan was for me. I remember my joy, peace, and acceptance.

I will never forget the two weeks I spent at Covecrest. It was there that my heart was healed and my life was changed.



Words that describe this stop on memory lane: forgiveness, healing, growth, love, friendships, God, blessings, life changing, the best summer of my life